I've been reading a book called 'First Impressions - What You Don't Know About How Others See You' by Ann Demarais, Ph.D. and Valerie White, Ph. D. and it occurred to me that one of the primary strategies for having conversations with newly met people would work perfectly for the shy among us... asking questions and letting others talk!
I'm really enjoying this book and I have yet to finish (it is perfect reading while I ride my stationary bicycle... a little riding and reading each day). Now it's not as simple as peppering someone with questions to avoid having to talk about ourselves, but it's nice to get conversations started without having to worry about whether or not we are interesting enough. And by letting them talk, we are actually making a favorable first impression!
It's less pressure to meet someone new, let them talk, listen - after all, aren't shy people good listeners in general? - and after making a good impression by being a good listener, relaxing and then adding a little bit about ourselves, so that the conversation maintains some balance.
We can worry less about what we're going to say, or having to be witty, or charismatic, whatever we worry about, and let them have the spotlight. And if they're not shy, they'll appreciate it.
It's nice to know that by listening, we, the shy, can still communicate in new situations, and actually make good impressions on new people!
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