the beautiful nurse

My apologies if this post gets schmaltzy... but it is Valentine's Day and maybe I'm feeling especially lonely. 

A relative was admitted to the hospital a couple of days ago. I was with her in the emergency ward when she was going to be moved upstairs to another room (she will be fine, BTW). Before she was moved, I went into the hospital cafeteria to have lunch, having been told which room to later find my relative. And it was in the cafeteria where this nurse caught my eye. 

She was sitting a couple of tables away from me. She was rather understated in her appearance with her medium length brown hair tied back and she looked smart in her fashionably framed glasses. Her attention was on her smartphone as she ate. I sat at one side of the room against a wall facing her. 

I forced myself not to full-on stare because one, that would have been rude and unsettling, and two, I always get caught when I do that. Not knowing the nature of how hospital employees dress, I wasn't sure what her job was there. She looked absolutely lovely. 

I've never been one to have an 'approach' no matter how casual in nature. So when I was done eating, I got up and left. Besides, I had a relative's well-being to worry about.

I headed up to the room where my relative was supposed to be moved to and as I walked down the corridor, a nurse asked me which room I was looking for. I gave him the number, and he stepped aside to unveil my relative. Her assigned room had been changed. And while we were settling into this new room, she was told that she was being relocated once again. So soon thereafter, we were being moved to yet another floor in another wing of the hospital. 

The details of what happened next I don't recall, but at my relative's new room, her nurse and a trainee showed up at some point. It's in my mind that the trainee flashed a big, friendly smile when she looked at me. It took me awhile to realize that this oh-so-lovely trainee was the very same girl from the cafeteria! 

The time spent waiting with my relative in her room passed much more quickly as I relished any attention she got from both the training nurse and her trainee. There were the IVs and bits of conversation. I again tried not to stare.

I foolishly believed that as long as my relative was at the hospital, she would have the same nurse and trainee her entire stay. But when I arrived the next day, alas, the training nurse was still the nurse, yet no sign of the trainee. Bummer. 

Today, same thing - no sign of the trainee, although the nurse was different. However when I went down to grab lunch today, I thought I might have seen her. I'm just not sure. I'm not impressed with myself that I'm not sure. The woman I saw wasn't sitting alone this time, but rather talking with several others. And she wasn't dressed in the same nursing uniform, and wasn't wearing glasses. The sunlight was flashing through the window that was behind her from opposite the direction I was looking. Maybe it was wishful thinking on my part that it was her. Or maybe there's a sameness in how the young nurses pull their hair back. I wasn't sitting closely enough to overhear any real conversation, but I think I heard her say something that included the words: "my boyfriend." Best I assume it was a different woman! 

Sadly enough, it has occurred to me that this lovely nursing trainee must be half my age, or thereabouts. That is particularly worrisome now that I have an ominous milestone coming up very soon. Still, it feels good to feel giddy and alive at the sight of a beautiful woman like this. My imagination came up with the scenario that she is working as a model while she puts herself through nursing school.

I tried to steal a few glances at her fingers to see if she wore any special rings (she wasn't) and read her nametag when she got close enough up in my relative's hospital room. Hmmm... isn't that the same name as an NFL quarterback? And that's as much as I'm going to tell about her name! 

Besides insecurities about my age compared to hers (and of course, I'm no Michael Douglas, Bill Wyman, Hugh Hefner, etc.), I'm still trying to find my career direction. Right now, it's somewhere in Internet marketing and network marketing. If I succeed there, maybe I'll have the confidence and wherewithal  to go after what I really want relationship-wise. And here I was enjoying the long odds of my eating in the cafeteria that first day at the time I did, sitting where I sat, and then my relative being moved twice until she was settled into a room that this nursing trainee was assigned to.